all work and no play
2003-07-13 @ 1:45 a.m.
for some strange reason i'm starting to feel compelled to work . i just want something to keep me busy so i'm not always getting bored and asking hypothetical questions and whatnot all the time . i want to be able to sit down and read a book and analyze it in a journal and do math homework for hours and have that "i completed something" feeling when i'm done . i want to take notes in class and draw doodles on the side of my papers when i finish everything early . i want a job to go to so i can make money and support myself, instead of depending on people . i want to figure out which college i want to go to and raise my sat scores and earn scholarships . i want to pay attention and learn things and improve myself . on the other hand, i don't want to deal with the same stupid people i've had to deal with for the past four years of my life . or have to decide what to wear and what to eat the night before . or get up before the sun does to get stuck in traffic at 6:45 in the morning, grr .
"Daydream, which is to though as the nebula is to the star, borders on sleep, and is concerned with it as its frontier. An atmosphere inhabited by living transparencies: there's a beginning of the unknown. But beyond it the Possible opens out, immense. Other beings, other facts, are there. No supernaturalism, on the occult continuation of infinite nature....Sleep is in contact with the Possible, which we also call the improbable. The world of the night is a world. Night, as night, is a universe....The dark things of the unknown world become neighbors of man, whether by true communication or by a visionary enlargement of the distances of the abyss...and the sleeper, not quite seeing, not quite unconscious, glimpses the strange animalities, weird vegetations, terrible or radiant pallors, ghosts, masks, figures, hydras, confusions, moonless moonlights obscure unmakings of miracle, growths and vanishings within a murky depth, shapes floating in shadow, the whole mystery which we call Dreaming, and which is nothing other than the approach of an invisible reality. The dream is the aquarium of Night."
nin.com is driving me fucking insane .
